Friend... under construction

It's late and I should be sleeping, but I have something on my mind.

I have realized that ever since the death of my dad I have been stubborn. I know that I have definitely gone through some major changes in my life because of this, but the way it affects me today bothers me. My attitude toward my family has not been the best I will admit. I was "daddy''s little girl" and now at times I do feel like a third wheel. However, I have realized that I, myself, have made me become that way. I haven't been as involved with my family as I should be or as helpful. I don't always agree with situations, but sometimes I need to look from their point of view. I want to be a better daughter and sister.

From realizing that I have not been the best family member I have also realized I am not that great of a friend at times:

I am not that involved: I often blame this on being busy and needing to study, when in actuality I am just really tired and need rest or want to stay at home. I am a HUGE homebody. I want to become a friend who makes efforts to become more invested in friendships.

I don't open up: But when I do I vent so much that I scare people away. I need to find a balance. Friends are people you can trust and who've got your back.

I am judgmental: Because I had to mature a lot faster than most people my age because of my dad I tend to be quick to judge. I assume I know what they are thinking, whether they are being fake or not, or whether they will be truthful and honest with me. I am scared to trust others at times. I want to become a friend who listens and cares. Only God is the one who can judge others, my job is to love.

I know I cannot just change this overnight. But with God's help I can become a more loving friend. One who intentionally invests in others. One who is not quick to judge. I really need to work on this loving attitude not only in my friendships, but also within my family relationships. I need to learn to be submissive at times. I like to think "In 10 years will this argument even matter?" My dad is gone. This is a fact. What I carry away from his life and how he lived it is the part of him that will continue to live on within me.

Christmas Break!

Christmas break is finally here! It is so weird going from being very busy for an entire semester to not having anything to do. I have kept myself occupied by working both my jobs and doing some Christmas shopping. I am almost done... I am a procrastinator when it comes to this. Every year I tell myself I will start in October and buy things as I see them, but of course this never happens.

Let it snow, let it snow, SERIOUSLY, let it snow! Where is the snow? This year I actually was ready for snow and I anxiously look out my window expecting it to be there in the morning. However, it is still SO nice out- which I'm not complaining about. I just love having a white Christmas, but this year seems like it is more of a brown, warmer Christmas.

I am looking forward to next semester. I only have class around the noon hour so hopefully I will get a lot of hours at my jobs. It is finally my last semester of undergrad! Fingers crossed I will be in grad school in the fall! It is hard seeing my friends become college graduates and obtaining jobs. However, once I finish all of my education I will love what I do. I am so excited to become a speech-language pathologist. All of this schooling is teaching me patience and is helping me to become an outstanding professional. It is definitely difficult at times, but in the end it is going to be completely worth it!

GRAD SCHOOL= DONE!

I FINALLY sent all my grad school forms in the mail yesterday! It feels so good to be done! Now...I have to play the waiting game. I will not know if I got accepted or not until March. That seems like forever away. I applied to UNI, Kansas State, University of Wisconsin, and Central Missouri. All of these school have very high quality programs in the field of speech-language pathology. Any of them I would be very pleased to be accepted into.

Finals.... the dreaded end of the semester finals are here. This week I have three test which is actually better than previous semesters I have had. My first test is on Tuesday at 5:00 so I have a "free" day tomorrow to study. My tests are in Augmentative and Alternative Communications, EdPsych, and Neuroscience. Neuro will be far the toughest one to study for, but I am up for the challenge. I have stocked up on Mountain Dew and coffee for the week. Caffeine makes the world so much better :)

Grad Schools

I have narrowed down my list of grad schools to five.

• University of Northern Iowa
• University of Minnesota
• Loyola University
• Towson University
• University of Maryland College Park

I need to start the application process soon. This week I am really going to focus on writing the essays that are required. This is such a nerve racking process (not to mention expensive!). I wish I could just fast forward and be in grad school. However, this is not the case and I need to buckle down and start this process.

I got a second job for this semester.... I am now a custodian at the Dome and Mcleod Center! haha. It is a perfect job in addition to my daycare one. I get to set my hours and work as much or as little as I want. I get paid $9.00 which is why I really wanted it! Hopefully this semester I will not be as stressed over money as I have been in the past.

School is ONE week away! I cannot believe it! This next semester is suppose to be the hardest one of my college career, but I am ready! Bring it on!

Rock Climbing/ GRE

Today I went rock climbing for the first time in the WRC with Kate and Brynn. It was so fun! I was nervous at first, but once I starting climbing I really enjoyed it. I touched the top the first time. It was pretty cool! Here are some pictures of us in our stylish climbing gear!

Jacob came up for the weekend and it was really fun. On Friday we went to Panera and watched A-Team. Saturday I had to work from 11-4. Jacob came and visited me at the pool. He jumped in with his phone in his swim trunks and had to leave to dry off his phone. He got it to work!! This is great because it is a loaner phone and he would have had to pay for that. After I got off we went to Waterloo, Applebees, and we went to Walmart and bought Scrabble, Uno, and a deck of cards. We are starting our game collection. I had never played Scrabble before and now I love playing it!! Here is a picture of one of our Scrabble games.

I took the GRE... finally. I studied for a little over a month for this test. However, after taking it I am now considering retaking it. I did not do as well as I would have liked on the verbal and math section. Some grad schools only look to see if you have taken it, but I want to look strong academically. With a low score I am not sure how schools will look at me. However, for the mean time I am glad to be done. I will decided later if I want to retake it. Until then, I am going to enjoy my summer!

Headaches..and Good Food!

I drink Mountain Dew WAY too much. Today I tried to not have any pop and I had a terrible headache. I did not want to become grumpy so I went and opened up a can. During the spring I got myself off of caffeine for awhile. However, now I am back on it due to early mornings at work and long days. I know I could be addicted to way worse things, but I want to not be so reliant on it. It also is hard to stop drinking it when I get free pop at work. By the end of the summer I hope to not rely on it so much for energy. I am going to look up foods that will provide that energy, but not the caffeine headache.

I went shopping the other day with some friends (basically to every grocery store!). We went to Aldis and that was actually my first time that I had ever been there! It was amazing! The food there (although mainly all off brands) was so cheap! I was able to buy a lot and I went to pay for it and my total only came to about $9.00! I was so impressed. I now have a new favorite grocery store. With everything being so cheap I can be able to learn how to cook healthy meals. To say the least... I'm pumped!

Our home

Here are some pictures of our new home! Enjoy!

Downstairs living room

Front of our house

Our HUGE backyard

Kitchen

Kitchen

The living room

The living room (again)

My room

My room (different angle)